


and back again

by Raven (singlecrow)



Category: The Big Bang Theory (TV)
Genre: Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-12
Updated: 2014-09-12
Packaged: 2018-02-17 04:18:50
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 622
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2296379
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/singlecrow/pseuds/Raven
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <em>She does her make-up like she's going to war.</em>
</p>
<p>The other half of notalwaysweak's "<a href="http://archiveofourown.org/works/2268438">turning you inside out</a>".</p>
            </blockquote>





	and back again

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [turning you inside out](https://archiveofourown.org/works/2268438) by [Lauren (notalwaysweak)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/notalwaysweak/pseuds/Lauren). 



> As in the previous story, character death is implied and future, not onscreen.

Back in her own apartment, Penny locks the door. She texts Bernadette and Amy and sets up a brunch date for the morning; she doesn't say what it's about, but tells them it's important. In the bathroom she spends two minutes just staring at the mirror and then she gets down to business: she puts up her hair, takes loving care over each dropped curl; does her make-up like she's going to war. On her way out she dims the lights, catches sight of her lipstick in the mirror and thinks of blood. 

She thinks for a minute about calling girls she knew from before, but no one she knew in Nebraska has washed up on this side of the continent, and in the end there's no one she even wants to call. She goes to a bar where they know her, where her heels crack out like gunshots; where she can dance and toss back her hair, let men buy her drinks in glasses shining with ice and blow them off without a second thought. She grips her last martini stem like she's drowning, goes home in a cab with her face pressed against the window, the city lights blurring against the sky. In her apartment she throws off her heels and walks around a couple of times getting the feeling back in her feet, and then she goes over the hall.

It's late enough that the door is locked. Penny's rummaging around for the spare key when she hears the thud, thud sound of feet in socks coming to the door, and Leonard's head appears, his eyes soft and tired. "Shh," he's saying, "Sheldon…"

Sheldon's asleep on the couch. "I don't want to wake him," Leonard explains, moving softly across to the storage closet, taking in Penny's dress and smudged eyeliner without surprise or comment, "he'll just fuss some more, but he was pretty done-in… ah, there it is."

He pulls down the blanket, throws it over Sheldon, and strangely that's it: it's not anything else in this long, bleak, broken-hearted hell of a day, it's that small kindness that pushes Penny over the edge. 

"I could've gone home with a dozen guys tonight," she says, "could've had my pick" - and bursts into tears. Leonard sits down in his chair and puts his arms around her, and they sit like that for a while: at first he's making soothing noises, muttering kind meaningless things, and then as he falls silent she thinks he's probably crying too, a little bit, and then grows still as he starts to fall asleep in her arms. And that's fine, and to be expected – it's that kind of sudden, bone-chilling fatigue in him that brought them here in the first place – and Penny takes a moment to just deal with that, make that part of her universe, and then speaks. "Leonard, honey," she says, gently, "I'm gonna put you to bed now, okay?" 

He nods against her, and Penny thinks she should leave a note for Sheldon. She knows him: from now on, he won't want to let Leonard out of his sight. From now on, he'll make his cracks about Leonard's lack of intellectual ability, talk about the beautiful mysteries of the universe they live in, and track every step Leonard takes that they can't follow. Leonard is an atheist, Penny knows. She wonders if, after this, she and Sheldon will be.

"Leonard," she says, still gentle, "honey, stand up, I can't lift you" – but Sheldon wakes up at the sound of her voice, gets up and helps her. And that's how they make it through to the end of this day, and that's how they're gonna make it through all the days after.


End file.
